Happy July, I hope that everyone had a lovely pride month! Even though I didn’t do much to celebrate, I have been enjoying the pride I have been feeling inside myself recently.

I was planning on posting poems from my novelette that are about sexuality, love and belonging. But to my dismay … I barely have any in there.

Which feels surprising since the thoughts are on my mind quite a lot.

I believe it may have happened subconsciously, as there is a part of me that is quite afraid and uncomfortable when talking about my own sexuality. It’s obvious to where many of these fears come from, but I have also been finding myself worrying about how I might come across to other queer communities.

‘Bisexual Slander’, as some may say.

Although there is no such thing as ‘not being gay enough’ or ‘presenting more queer’, everyone should be able to feel like themselves no matter how they present themselves.

As someone who is in a heteronormative-standing relationship, it feels at times very hard to join the community. As well as being mainly fem-presenting, at a glance you would naturally just assume that I am a straight woman. I don’t blame anyone for having those assumptions, I just hate how there is an obvious ‘normal’.

It could get even worse if we brought in the idea of gender ….

The hate for bisexual people felt quite rampant during pride this year.

Although I didn’t see much of it myself, I saw a lot of people defending the community. Which on one hand does bring me joy, while also being saddened because we need to be defended in the first place.

It just sucks seeing queers being mean to other queers, as we are all still going through the same oppression.

For a long time, I thought it would be a lot easier if I were one or the other. Being either a straight or gay person. That way I at least wouldn’t be getting jabbed by the oppressors as well as the oppressed.

But to my dismay that’s just not how sexuality works.

I even might be seen as one of the lucky ones in comparison. Sure, my main preferences are towards women, but since I have and am dating a man, I have been able to slip under the radar.

Making my life safer and easier.

I wish that this wasn’t true.

And while I don’t want to take that for granted…

…I hate the stereotype that gets placed onto me,

 how it makes me feel in the regards of being queer.

I wish that there was a lot less judgment about being who you are.

I wish people wouldn’t just assume and decide whether or not you can belong.

I wish people didn’t just believe me to be straight, I wish people didn’t see me as just a woman.

I wish that I could be seen as just a living, breathing person.

Please stop assuming…