I have been really struggling to write lately.

Not because of the absence of time.

But because I go through periods of not believing in myself.

I started my postgraduate degree in writing this year and although it sounds so obvious, it is MUCH more work than I anticipated. School on its own is very hard, especially in a time when it has become financially harder to survive.

As someone with depression it feels impossible at times.

As someone who wants to be perfect and constantly excels, you wouldn’t be able to tell that by looking at my grades.

My ability to want something and not follow through in a way that I deem worthy is exhausting.

It feels as though I must prove to myself that I am worthy of living this life and doing the things that I want to do.

I want to give myself the goal of just allowing myself.

I want to allow myself to write no matter how busy I get.

No matter how loud my anxieties and thoughts get.

I think we all just need to allow ourselves more.

‘If you hear a voice within you say you cannot paint, then by all means paint and that will be silenced.’                                                  

   – Vincent Van Gogh.